HIATUS

I think I will have a time out from love.
I survived without it for 21 years of my life.
It just too much I can’t take it anymore.
I just can’t bear with all the lies and deceits.
Getting hurt? I am way over that.
If you can see my heart, I think it would resemble a heart anymore.
They say don’t give up on love. I think those people must have been pretty lucky and found the one.
I haven’t yet met the right one.
I thought I did, but then I realize I was wrong.
He was not the one. He was the one right now. Not for tomorrow, not for the future.
I refuse to believe that no one is out there for me.
What a life would that be without no-one to share it with.
God, I hate this.
I hate thinking that this would never end.
I am tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of being lied to.
If you don’t want me, just say it out loud.
I don’t mind the rejection.
Just don’t take my heart as a game that you can kick around.
My love is not for sale.
It is only for a man who is worthy of my trust.
Are you?

ALL FOR YOU, MY DEAREST SAM.........

Go and watch it...you'll drool over the guys and the cars....two perfect combination for lonesome Saturday afternoon...or Wednesday afternoon..or as a matter of fact, all afternoon...

SO HARD

It is so hard to find one decent guy that you can call your own nowadays.

Or maybe I am just some fucking loser who cannot get a decent guy.

Cheat, lies, deceits. I don’t know how you sleep at night after you spin all the web of bullshit.

Maybe these people deserve an award for multi-tasking.

Juggling between minions of girlfriends (or boyfriends, like I said bitches applied to women and men).

Having two, three numbers for different purposes, in order to easily get caught.

Privatizing their facebook or myspace profile, or better still, having two separate accounts for the double lives they are living.

‘Sayang’ for no 1, ‘baby’ for no 2, and maybe ‘mama’ for no 3.

Bravo. You deserves an award.

Liars.

Cheaters.

Deceivers.

I hope your future significant gives you one hell of a multi-tasking tornado.

So, you know how it feels like.

I hope you meet a master liar, cheater, and deceiver so that you know how much it hurts.

In the meantime, keep going on. Who knows one day, the truth will come back and bite you in the a@#.

SHITSTORM

Which is worse, having a guy physically in a wedlock , but you know deep down, his heart does not belong to you OR knowing a guy loves you so much, he’d do anything for you but he is physically attached to someone a.k.a legally bonded to some other woman?

Why is it that some people just could not make up their mind of whom they want to spend the rest of their life with?

Some people already know who is the one but then did not have the guts nor the will to break out and tell everyone who she/he wants for fear of rejection and scorn and having her/his entire family lashing out on them. Not to mention the person she/he is having relationship with and their family as well.

Love is such an elusive thing that you’ll be lucky to find it in the right person, during the right time, and under tolerable circumstances. For those out there, who have such a smooth sailing in love relationship, I’d say good for you. Because there are more out there who have to endure such dramas when it comes to having someone to fall back on to.

Why is it so hard for two people to be together? Because when two people fall in love, there are not the only two individuals in it. Other people are affected as well. Unless both of them have no relations and only live for themselves. Which is very hard to find, because let’s face it, no matter how old we are, we still have to think of our parents and other people who think that they have a say in who will wake up with us for the rest of our lives, who will watch us snore at night for the rest of our live, who will keeps us company in the labour room, who will stay up with us looking for baby names, who will comfort our child when he/she is being bullied by the kid form hell in school…gosh, it is so hard nowadays to really find someone that stay with you no matter how horrid and ghastly you become, not to mention how horrid and ghastly your creation is (refer to the kid from hell).

Which brings me to the justification that some people are alone, still, after numerous flings because having real relationship is just too taxing. Too much responsibilities, too much tears to cry, to many times heart being broken, too many months in agony, too many games of ‘he loves me, he loves me not’…and the list goes on. Why go through all those hassle? Better be alone. But human do not want that. Human needs companion. That’s when the problem starts.

TO THREAD CAREFULLY

Men cannot sleep without having a warm body beside them.

Well, so do women. But you don’t see women ogling at man, the way men “sweet2” at women in a very pathetic manner.

Seriously, I would never understand men.

When he could not get the girl, he would be busy whining and talking about the girl who just won’t respond to him. But once he got the girl, that is when he started to take the girl for granted and thought that the girl would be there waiting for him and never leave him no matter how shitty and inhumanly he treated the girl. When he lost the girl, the lovesick mode came back on, and he started to stalk the girl, begging for her to come back to him. What is with you, men?

It is not easy for a girl to fall in love, because if the love doesn’t work out, the girl will suffer most. Women, being the more emotional being of the two sexes, will ponder over why did the boy leave him and what is wrong with her when in fact the psycho is the boy who is too ungrateful to think that he could treat the girl for granted and got away with it. And don’t assume I am a feminist when I appear to be bitching about men because take note, this situation can be reversed if the girl is a whore who thinks she can get away with having countless boyfriends.

What I am trying to say here, is, karma is a bitch. And that applies to both male bitches and women bitches. Or does the bitch refer to karma…hmmmm

I DON'T KNOW

I don’t know how you live, after what you have done to me.

I don’t know how you sleep at night, after what you have said to me.

I don’t know how you look at yourself in the mirror, after what you have caused to my heart.

I don’t know how you can smile, after you have made me cry my eyes out.

I don’t know how you can face the world, after the lies and deceits you told me.

I don’t know how you can look into her eyes, and said ‘I love you’ to me.

I don’t know how, I don’t know how, you can, you could, you keep doing that to me.

What I have I done to you to deserve these?

I don’t know how, I don’t know how, you can, you could, you keep doing that to me

But then, I guess I will never know. Because I am not a scumbag like you.

OUT

Wake up in the morning feeling like a used tampon is not a good thing. Feel abused, for other people’s comfort? That is even worse. You keep thinking what is in it for me? Nothing. Nada. That is when you realize your life is just one big A-hole that keeps producing shit. Either way, you have to accept the fact that you will become the ‘it’ loser for the rest of your waking life. Sure, people said be optimistic and stuff, but don’t even say that you know how I feel if u know nuts about me.

Why is it that people started to bother when someone that used to care and love them is gone, out of their life and never coming back again? Just to play with that someone’s mind? Try to make them go nuts and try to play with their feelings again? For what? For pure entertainment and their own amusement? Don’t even say that you know how I feel if you know nuts about me.

Sick as it is, when you realize you will never get something or someone that you are used to take for granted, that is when you freaked out and did stupid stuff. When you realize this is it, I have to say goodbye. This is it, I cannot stay anymore. This is it, the end of everything.

Just go to that perfect someone that you claimed will put up with you for the rest of your goddamn stinking life. I just don’t care anymore how my life will carry out. Maybe it sucks, maybe all my predictions will come true, maybe it will improve a little bit if God and people have mercy in me, I just don’t know. Neither do you. I don’t want to know what is going on with the world anymore. Because the world just don’t care that I am alive or I am dead. Isn’t this what you wanted? To see me crumble and never get up? Well, good luck in seeing that for the next years of your pathetic existence.

Don’t assume and feel that you are such an important part of my life that I need to blog about you. I just don’t want to get into the whole mess of interacting with you and making you feel that you are worth my time and attention. You had your chances and you made your choice. I put up with your insults and the way you make me feel small and worthless. Congrats for that; what you did just make me realize I deserve better.