UOX

Back in my university days during my first degree, since I was always broke, I subscribed to UOX by Celcom.

As the picture above suggests, there is no credit expiry until the end of your life of 25 years.

So, recently I passed that 'no credit expiry' age.

I've been having that number since the third year of my first degree (since I'm 21/22).

So, today I tried sending SMS to my colleague and the SMS failed.

That's when I realized the expiry date was like 5 days ago.

And that got me thinking. I'm expired.

I'm neither young nor should get discount or limitless expiration date for credit and prepaid top up.

I'm no longer should be considered for freebies for I'm no longer a broke-ass student.

Shot just got serious.

Responsibilities and people to answer to. Some explaining to do when you fucked up. Say, if my Form 5 kids failed (God forbid) in their SPM because they are too half-assed to write the answer despite my warning, and the passing percentage affected the overall achievement of the school, I'll be in deep shit. I got to answer to the Principal, parents, and also to God for not carrying out my responsibility as a teacher. For not giving them more exercises to work on, despite them throwing away/misplaced/buat bungkus nasi lemak all the past year questions that I printed using my wobbly printer (sometimes in full colour so that it would look interesting enough for them to at least scribble some shit on it.

My other colleague was lamenting on how worried she is for SPM. Although I too, teach two Form Five classes and one Form 3 class, I could not bring myself to be worried. Blame it on all the bullshits that I had to take (and still have to face) before that made my thick skin even thicker and made my tears all the more expensive to be shed shamelessly around.

So what if they failed? Would that make me feel worried? Would that make me any less of a teacher? Would that mean my qualification is not good enough? Why the hell should I care when they could not care less of what happen with their future?

Come 26 and suddenly I question what I am doing. And I become more receptive to what people have to say about me. I feel less hurt when people criticize me for my body, my choice of life and the way I run things. I become calmer, ok I lied, I still curse when faced with idiot on wheels, but still I don't feel like screaming or lose my cool when some brat intentionally make my blood boil.

Maybe the old me has expired along with UOX. It troubles me that I have to top up my handphone every week if I want to continue using this Celcom number. However, it also opens up a room for new me. Sure, I could be impatient and impulsive sometimes (shoes and books, cannot look at them without buying them) but still I learn to be tolerant, to be not overly-sensitive and to take life as it comes and live it, not fret about what could have happened or what could have been in the future.