So, I had to come for a course in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan. It
was in the middle of nowhere and we had to google it before being able to find
it. When I finally got to the hostel (imagine that, I haven’t said that word
for the last 4 years) and suddenly I was faced with the possibility of boredom
looming over me for the next 3 days.
Sad to say, having to stay in a hostel brought back memories
that I was trying so hard to forget. Let me say I spent the last 4 years
erasing these memories little by little so that I wouldn’t have nightmares
about them. Yes, I had nightmares about those times at the hostel. Like when I had
to walk from my block to the class. Well, this time around, we don’t have to
walk for a long period of time, a bus is provided, speaking of which, I haven’t
been in a bus for quite some time. Again, it brought back memories where I had
to fight for my life for a bus ticket when I was studying in Johor Bahru to get
back home in Kota Bharu. It was a nightmare (again, that devilish word) having
this blackness at the pit of your stomach waiting for the tickets to be sold
and then when it was finally sold, I went to the bus station only to find the
tickets were all sold out. Yeah, I hate riding on a bus.
As for the hostel, I felt like a student all over again. And
without my trusted Saga, I felt incomplete. At times of deprivation like this, I
started to be thankful and grateful of what I have. But I guess, it is human nature
to miss something only when you don’t have it anymore. So that’s that,
Add horrible food to that, I am so going to have a feast
when I am back home. All this walking and not having a bathroom in the room and
having to be modest all the time (I could go au natural but I am afraid others would
not enjoy it so much) and not being able to be in control (hashtag waiting for
bus, hashtag breakfast is not ready yet, hashtag bathroom stalls are full)
suck.
However, after whining to myself and stop being a bitch that
I really am, I started to think of how selfish I can be when I had it all but
some kids at other parts of the world had nothing. So that shut me up for a
while until there’s something that ticks me off and I might have to whine about
it again.
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