THE L WORD

“I wish I’d done everything on earth with you.”

That’s what Daisy said to Gatsby when she first met him after 5 years.

Which is total bullshit. Because in that 5 years, instead of waiting for him, she got married to Tom Buchanan. Had a baby. All that despite Tom’s cheating ways.

While Gatsby fought in the war, and built his life up to be a spitting image of Tom, an affluent man, in his bid to win Daisy back.

Daisy is a bitch. There I said it.

While Gatsby looked at Daisy like she was the last drop of water to quench his thirst. Like she was the last sliver of light in his darkened world. Like she was the last breath of oxygen to keep him alive.

Obsessive love? Yes it is.

Is it dangerous? Absolutely.

But it is even better to live a safe, mediocre life where you do things just because other people are doing it. Getting married for example. To the person they have zero love for. Just because it’s time and people are saying unsavoury things to unmarried people. Just to satisfy the expectations of society. Letting go of that one person who truly cares and loves them just of the promise of a secured life. Later, in the middle of it all, feeling regretful for choosing to listen to others’ whims and fancies instead of following one own’s conscience.

Someone says I’m a romantic. Not a practical person. I agree. Yes, I am cynical. But I am trapped in the body of a person who truly believes true love will prevail. I also believe all those corny love quotes are trash. At the same time, I still love reading them. I hate happy endings because not all of us got our own happy ending. But I still watch those movies and cry when the girl eventually got what she wants. I am a living contradictions. I am tortured. Into believing and hoping and eventually get eggs on my face for believing and hoping. Fuck this.

I want to be single yet the temptations of being in a relationship overpowers me. I want to not give a fuck but still, I give a fuck. Because I just don’t love casually. I throw caution to the wind. And that’s always my mistake. Do I learn from it? No. Would I still do it? Yes. Would I get hurt again? Yes, again and again and again. Would I stop doing this to myself? Absolutely not. Because above all, I believe in the greatness of love.