I don’t know how you live, after what you have done to me.
I don’t know how you sleep at night, after what you have said to me.
I don’t know how you look at yourself in the mirror, after what you have caused to my heart.
I don’t know how you can smile, after you have made me cry my eyes out.
I don’t know how you can face the world, after the lies and deceits you told me.
I don’t know how you can look into her eyes, and said ‘I love you’ to me.
I don’t know how, I don’t know how, you can, you could, you keep doing that to me.
What I have I done to you to deserve these?
I don’t know how, I don’t know how, you can, you could, you keep doing that to me
But then, I guess I will never know. Because I am not a scumbag like you.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
OUT
Wake up in the morning feeling like a used tampon is not a good thing. Feel abused, for other people’s comfort? That is even worse. You keep thinking what is in it for me? Nothing. Nada. That is when you realize your life is just one big A-hole that keeps producing shit. Either way, you have to accept the fact that you will become the ‘it’ loser for the rest of your waking life. Sure, people said be optimistic and stuff, but don’t even say that you know how I feel if u know nuts about me.
Why is it that people started to bother when someone that used to care and love them is gone, out of their life and never coming back again? Just to play with that someone’s mind? Try to make them go nuts and try to play with their feelings again? For what? For pure entertainment and their own amusement? Don’t even say that you know how I feel if you know nuts about me.
Sick as it is, when you realize you will never get something or someone that you are used to take for granted, that is when you freaked out and did stupid stuff. When you realize this is it, I have to say goodbye. This is it, I cannot stay anymore. This is it, the end of everything.
Just go to that perfect someone that you claimed will put up with you for the rest of your goddamn stinking life. I just don’t care anymore how my life will carry out. Maybe it sucks, maybe all my predictions will come true, maybe it will improve a little bit if God and people have mercy in me, I just don’t know. Neither do you. I don’t want to know what is going on with the world anymore. Because the world just don’t care that I am alive or I am dead. Isn’t this what you wanted? To see me crumble and never get up? Well, good luck in seeing that for the next years of your pathetic existence.
Don’t assume and feel that you are such an important part of my life that I need to blog about you. I just don’t want to get into the whole mess of interacting with you and making you feel that you are worth my time and attention. You had your chances and you made your choice. I put up with your insults and the way you make me feel small and worthless. Congrats for that; what you did just make me realize I deserve better.
Why is it that people started to bother when someone that used to care and love them is gone, out of their life and never coming back again? Just to play with that someone’s mind? Try to make them go nuts and try to play with their feelings again? For what? For pure entertainment and their own amusement? Don’t even say that you know how I feel if you know nuts about me.
Sick as it is, when you realize you will never get something or someone that you are used to take for granted, that is when you freaked out and did stupid stuff. When you realize this is it, I have to say goodbye. This is it, I cannot stay anymore. This is it, the end of everything.
Just go to that perfect someone that you claimed will put up with you for the rest of your goddamn stinking life. I just don’t care anymore how my life will carry out. Maybe it sucks, maybe all my predictions will come true, maybe it will improve a little bit if God and people have mercy in me, I just don’t know. Neither do you. I don’t want to know what is going on with the world anymore. Because the world just don’t care that I am alive or I am dead. Isn’t this what you wanted? To see me crumble and never get up? Well, good luck in seeing that for the next years of your pathetic existence.
Don’t assume and feel that you are such an important part of my life that I need to blog about you. I just don’t want to get into the whole mess of interacting with you and making you feel that you are worth my time and attention. You had your chances and you made your choice. I put up with your insults and the way you make me feel small and worthless. Congrats for that; what you did just make me realize I deserve better.
Monday, August 17, 2009
SUDAHLAH
Dah berapa kali aku cakap, blog ni tempat aku melepaskan segala-galanya. Yang kau orang sibuk2 nak mencaci maki aku kat sini apehal. Aku ada caci maki kau orang kt blog korang ke? Dah berkali aku cakap aku blogging bukan nak hentam orang, tp orang still tak faham dan asyik2 nak hentam aku. Sukati aku la nak tulis ape pun dlm blog aku. Yg korang2 kecoh ni kenape? Menyusahkan hidup korang ke? Kalau susah, tak payahlah nak buka blog aku. Tak payah baca. Pastu sosek2. Bosan lah tau tak? Benci.
Friday, August 14, 2009
BROKEN HEARTS AND RUNNING MASCARA
Should we just move on and not giving a fuck about how it all begins?
Should we forget and not giving a fuck about how much it hurts?
Should we be stoic and solid and not giving a fuck about how our hearts are wretched from it all?
Should we be quiet and not speak at all about how it makes us want to bleed and die?
Should we pretend nothing happens when injustice is sneering to us?
Should we stay oblivious when cruelty is taunting us for our lack of emotions?
Should we? Could we? Would we?
Yes. We should. We could. And we would.
Should we forget and not giving a fuck about how much it hurts?
Should we be stoic and solid and not giving a fuck about how our hearts are wretched from it all?
Should we be quiet and not speak at all about how it makes us want to bleed and die?
Should we pretend nothing happens when injustice is sneering to us?
Should we stay oblivious when cruelty is taunting us for our lack of emotions?
Should we? Could we? Would we?
Yes. We should. We could. And we would.
NOT SO SECRET
If you want to bitch about me in your blog, please don’t make it so obvious. Please, use pseudonyms or whatever to not let me detect that you are bitching about me. I am seriously getting sick and tired of people bitching about me and sicker and more tired that I, somehow or rather know about it. Don’t ask me how I know, but I just knew it. So, next time, if you ever want to bitch about me, why don’t you just tell me or keep it to yourself, if you are just not that good enough to post about it in your blog and keep it a secret. Because somehow or rather, don’t ask me how, I knew.
I never, and trust me when I said never, blog about you in my blog. So, why oh why, you have to blog about me in your blog? God!!!!!
I never, and trust me when I said never, blog about you in my blog. So, why oh why, you have to blog about me in your blog? God!!!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
HATI BATU
to all people who long to see me down, congratulations!
to all people who long to see me rise, congratulations!
do all you can to vanquish me.
i'm still here.
you did it to me once, now you did it again.
sekali berhati busuk, selamanya berhati busuk.
berulat, berkulat, manusia macam kau memang tak patut dibiarkan hidup.
virus, parasit, pelesit.
berselindung di sebalik kepura-puraaan dan baik bertujuan.
dulu aku beri peluang dan kemaafan di saat kau seorang dipulau.
tapi sekarang kau buang aku di saat kau tak perlu lagi.
teruskan.
moga kau diadili suatu hari nanti.
manusia berhati busuk.
to all people who long to see me rise, congratulations!
do all you can to vanquish me.
i'm still here.
you did it to me once, now you did it again.
sekali berhati busuk, selamanya berhati busuk.
berulat, berkulat, manusia macam kau memang tak patut dibiarkan hidup.
virus, parasit, pelesit.
berselindung di sebalik kepura-puraaan dan baik bertujuan.
dulu aku beri peluang dan kemaafan di saat kau seorang dipulau.
tapi sekarang kau buang aku di saat kau tak perlu lagi.
teruskan.
moga kau diadili suatu hari nanti.
manusia berhati busuk.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
MY PIECE OF MIND
I just finished watching two movies, Obsessed and The Last House on the Left. To other people, it might ne two completely different movies, but for me both movies share the same theme; protecting the one you love no matter to what extent. If somebody hurts the one you love, you should and ought to fight back, not to sit back and let rational thinking does the job. There’s nothing rational about letting somebody keeps hurting the one you love. There’s nothing rational about letting the one you love broken down because of somebody. There’s nothing rational about letting somebody gets away for hurting the one you love.
In the first movie, Obsessed, it’s about a psycho girl, Lisa (Ali Larter) who works as a temporary worker at this office. She is of course, “obsessed” with her boss, Derek (Idris Elba). The thing is, Derek is happily married to Sharon (Beyonce Knowles) and already has a son called Kyle. This is a story about a delusional girl who tries to push Sharon away from the picture of happy family and hope that she could become Sharon. Although, at first, the audience thought that Lisa has gone away for good but she keeps interfering in Derek’s and Sharon’s life. So, what does Sharon do? She goes face to face with the Bitch, Lisa and towards the end of the movie, we get to witness a catfight between Sharon and Lisa. Yes, Sharon is emotional, she should have called the police you said. But let me tell you something, there’s two people that you cannot touch when it comes to a woman’s life; first, her husband and secondly, her child. So, when Lisa crosses the line and touches both of these people, Sharon acts out. Does she act out on emotions? Should she call the police instead when Lisa come into the house unannounced? To hell with that. I support what Sharon did 100%. She fights back. Why? Because she is protecting those two people that she loves more than herself. She fights back out of love. Nobody can get away after hurting the two people that she loves the most. Is that emotional? Is that not rational thinking? Who cares? When somebody hurt the ones you love, are you going to stand back and let justice takes its course? What if justice never comes? That’s what I said with when it comes to love, nothing is rational. You fight back because that’s the right thing to do.
The second movie was about this family who went up a lake for their summer vacation. They are John (the dad), Emma (the mom) and Mary (the daughter). So the daughter thought that she could go to town and met her friend, Paige who works as a cashier at this shop. While they were wasting time away at the shop, there’s this boy, Justin who comes into the store and said that he got some good stuff for both of the girls. They follow Justin to his hotel room and they smoke pot. Before they knew it, Justin’s psycho family came back so these two girls were caught up at the wrong place and at the wrong time. It turns out that Justin’s family is wanted by the police for a killing spree. So, these two girls need to be “shut up” by Justin’s family. Paige was stabbed, Mary was raped but she managed to get away but she was shot in the process. Justin’s family thought that that’s the end of her. Since they were in the woods, they need to find somebody to get a shelter for the night. Guess whose house they found in the remote woods? Mary’s family house at the lake. Justin’s family was oblivious to who John and Emma were but it is Justin who found out that Mary is their daughter but he kept quiet about it. To keep a long story short, Mary managed to crawl back to the house and when John and Emma found out that Justin’s family hurt their little daughter, they sought revenge. Instead of the typical the good family gets slaughtered by the psycho, in this movie the good family becomes the psycho. They had to kill Justin’s family in order to get out safely from the house and send Mary to the hospital. You can say it is a matter of survival of the fittest. But when your family is threatened and the ones that you love is in danger, do you just stand back and let rational thinking do the justice? Or do you let your emotions and your adrenaline rush give those motherfuckers that hurt the one you love a taste of their own medicine?
Sure, it is easy to say, calm down, don’t act out on emotions, think first before you act. Let rational thinking sink in and you will find a way. Yeah, it’s easier said than done. Can you just stand back when the one you love is hurting and every single day he/she is dying because of somebody? Maybe you can, out of rational thinking and to avoid confrontation. But I can’t. So call me emotional. Because I am. But I can’t bear seeing someone I love being in great pain because of somebody. I will fight back for those that I love. I will not stand back and let somebody ridicules my love one. Maybe you look at me and decide that I’m a cold-hearted bitch, well maybe I am. But I will never let my loved ones hurt in vain. Let me take the pain, but not those that I love. That the worth of love for me.
In the first movie, Obsessed, it’s about a psycho girl, Lisa (Ali Larter) who works as a temporary worker at this office. She is of course, “obsessed” with her boss, Derek (Idris Elba). The thing is, Derek is happily married to Sharon (Beyonce Knowles) and already has a son called Kyle. This is a story about a delusional girl who tries to push Sharon away from the picture of happy family and hope that she could become Sharon. Although, at first, the audience thought that Lisa has gone away for good but she keeps interfering in Derek’s and Sharon’s life. So, what does Sharon do? She goes face to face with the Bitch, Lisa and towards the end of the movie, we get to witness a catfight between Sharon and Lisa. Yes, Sharon is emotional, she should have called the police you said. But let me tell you something, there’s two people that you cannot touch when it comes to a woman’s life; first, her husband and secondly, her child. So, when Lisa crosses the line and touches both of these people, Sharon acts out. Does she act out on emotions? Should she call the police instead when Lisa come into the house unannounced? To hell with that. I support what Sharon did 100%. She fights back. Why? Because she is protecting those two people that she loves more than herself. She fights back out of love. Nobody can get away after hurting the two people that she loves the most. Is that emotional? Is that not rational thinking? Who cares? When somebody hurt the ones you love, are you going to stand back and let justice takes its course? What if justice never comes? That’s what I said with when it comes to love, nothing is rational. You fight back because that’s the right thing to do.
The second movie was about this family who went up a lake for their summer vacation. They are John (the dad), Emma (the mom) and Mary (the daughter). So the daughter thought that she could go to town and met her friend, Paige who works as a cashier at this shop. While they were wasting time away at the shop, there’s this boy, Justin who comes into the store and said that he got some good stuff for both of the girls. They follow Justin to his hotel room and they smoke pot. Before they knew it, Justin’s psycho family came back so these two girls were caught up at the wrong place and at the wrong time. It turns out that Justin’s family is wanted by the police for a killing spree. So, these two girls need to be “shut up” by Justin’s family. Paige was stabbed, Mary was raped but she managed to get away but she was shot in the process. Justin’s family thought that that’s the end of her. Since they were in the woods, they need to find somebody to get a shelter for the night. Guess whose house they found in the remote woods? Mary’s family house at the lake. Justin’s family was oblivious to who John and Emma were but it is Justin who found out that Mary is their daughter but he kept quiet about it. To keep a long story short, Mary managed to crawl back to the house and when John and Emma found out that Justin’s family hurt their little daughter, they sought revenge. Instead of the typical the good family gets slaughtered by the psycho, in this movie the good family becomes the psycho. They had to kill Justin’s family in order to get out safely from the house and send Mary to the hospital. You can say it is a matter of survival of the fittest. But when your family is threatened and the ones that you love is in danger, do you just stand back and let rational thinking do the justice? Or do you let your emotions and your adrenaline rush give those motherfuckers that hurt the one you love a taste of their own medicine?
Sure, it is easy to say, calm down, don’t act out on emotions, think first before you act. Let rational thinking sink in and you will find a way. Yeah, it’s easier said than done. Can you just stand back when the one you love is hurting and every single day he/she is dying because of somebody? Maybe you can, out of rational thinking and to avoid confrontation. But I can’t. So call me emotional. Because I am. But I can’t bear seeing someone I love being in great pain because of somebody. I will fight back for those that I love. I will not stand back and let somebody ridicules my love one. Maybe you look at me and decide that I’m a cold-hearted bitch, well maybe I am. But I will never let my loved ones hurt in vain. Let me take the pain, but not those that I love. That the worth of love for me.
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