SUDAHLAH

Dah berapa kali aku cakap, blog ni tempat aku melepaskan segala-galanya. Yang kau orang sibuk2 nak mencaci maki aku kat sini apehal. Aku ada caci maki kau orang kt blog korang ke? Dah berkali aku cakap aku blogging bukan nak hentam orang, tp orang still tak faham dan asyik2 nak hentam aku. Sukati aku la nak tulis ape pun dlm blog aku. Yg korang2 kecoh ni kenape? Menyusahkan hidup korang ke? Kalau susah, tak payahlah nak buka blog aku. Tak payah baca. Pastu sosek2. Bosan lah tau tak? Benci.

KUCING DAN MANUSIA

Seekor kucing di tepi jalan, mati dilanggar lori bila hendak melintas jalan sebab mahu memberi makan pada anak-anak kucing yang kelaparan di seberang jalan.

Seorang anak manusia, meminta pertolongan dalam surat khabar untuk menurunkan berat badan akibat makan nasi empat pinggan bersama ayam goreng sebelah ekor setiap hari.

Damn! What the world is coming to?

ADA

Di saat aku menyalahkan dunia mengatakan semua orang tidak adil, si dia ada bersamaku.

Di saat air mata aku mengalir untuk kali yang ke berapa ratus ribu, dia ada menemaniku.

Di saat aku berasa aku lah bitch yang paling useless sekali, dia setia menidakkan ke’bitch’an itu.

Di saat aku mahu mati menyerah kalah, dia ada mendengar dan memberi kata semangat.

Di saat aku rasa seorang dan mahu menyorok di ruang paling hujung di dunia, dia ada menyokongku.

Yang penting, dia ada bersamaku.

Seteruk mana pun aku, dia ada bersamaku.

Dia sentiasa ada, bersamaku.

Ada. Bersamaku.

HAPPINESS

The definition of happiness varies for person to person. Depends on what you look forward for every morning you wake up in the morning. Some people find joy in making other people happy. Obedient housewives slaving themselves to make breakfast in the morning, cleaning the house all afternoon, washing, ironing clothes, and later preparing dinner for the husband and brats that we called children. And not even a single thank you from husband that still cat-calling other women even after years of marriage and ungrateful children that treat their mom like carpet under their feet. Are these housewives happy? Maybe, even though we can really tell what they really desire inside their deepest of hearts.

Others are more selfish than these selfless housewives, putting their happiness above others. They claim to be individualistic, having their own freedom and making decisions that they think won’t affect others. They are the new breed of people in the new generation that seems to have virtue and concrete objectives in their life. It is good to see these new generation emerging, but at the same time worrying when the only purpose of living for oneself, instead of considering others that may directly or indirectly influence our life.

So, back to the initial question. What is happiness? You tell me.

FEELINGS:HOT

Kadang kala bila kau dh think the world of one person, everything that the person does is good in your eyes. Tak kira la walaupun orang tu teruk di mata org lain. Tak kira la walaupun org tu teruk dgn kau. Sebab org tu raja di hati kau, walaupun hamba di hati org lain. Bila ada org yang bertakhta di hati kau, semua yang org cakap kau butakan dan kau tulikan. Sebab apa? Sebab org tu perfect di mata kau. Bahaya bila jadi mcm ni. Tapi at least bila jadi mcm ni, you know what it feels like to be madly and passionately in feelings that you cannot even describe.

BODIES

Kadang2 bila kau takde kawan, kau masih ada family. Bila kau takde family, kwn2 lg penting bg kau. Kalau kau takde kedua2nya, keluarga buang kau dan kawan2 pulau kau, kau akan kahwin lari bersama orang yang kau cinta sepenuh jiwa sampai mati. Kesimpulannya, everybody needs somebody. Anybody. What about those who have nobody?

MAGNET PEOPLE

Ada orang ramai betul supporters even though at times orang ni acts crazy or does something foolish. Maybe because this person is blessed with the ability to be a people magnet. Aku pun people magnet jugak, tapi people Kutub Utara, aku pun Kutub Utara. Menolak lah magnet tu, mana nak tertarik kalau kutub sama. Mungkin aku kena bertukar jadi Kutub Selatan, baru boleh menarik Kutub Utara. Tapi let’s say aku jadi Kutub Selatan, tiba-tiba people nak jadi Kutub Selatan jugak, macam mana tuh?

UHU

Aku tak berani nak membalas apa yang orang buat pada aku. Hatta fitnah yang paling kejam dan tak betul sekalipun yang kau sebarkan pasal aku, aku takkan balas balik. Aku dah rasa impak ketidakbetulan patah-patah kata fitnah yang kau lemparkan. Walaupun sakit dan robek hati aku (tak boleh nak gam balik macam pasu yang pecah), tapi I will never wish you ill. Cuma aku berharap yang kau ditunjukkan jalan kebenaran dan sedar kesakitan yang kau jatuhkan pada aku suatu hari nanti akan menjadi milik kau. Air mata yang menitis sebab kau akan suatu hari nanti terpercik di muka kau. Dan hati yang kau robekkan akan suatu hari kau sesali bila hati kau sendiri kemek dan remuk, tak dapat diselamatkan lagi. Bila hari itu sampai, I will offer my condolences, instead of suggesting a book to read like you did to me when I was feeling shitty. Blah~~~

S(AINT)

Aku rasa, for the past 5 years, I’ve been slaving myself to my study. And for the past 2 years, I’ve been devoting myself to my one and only (you know who you are). People and magazines said that you must think of yourself first, and then only you can think of others. But I cannot bring myself to do it. I am no saint. But I am certainly not the devil either.

MERE FEELINGS

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Lapar
Marah
Benci
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Babi=H1N1

OVERLOOK

I am sick and tired. Entah apa yang aku buat sampai aku rasa macam tu pun aku taktau. Banyak sangat berfikir pasal orang lain. Ntah apeape ntah. Waras ke tak seseorang manusia tu aku rasa depends on his or her ability to overlook things. Orang yang boleh mrlihat some injustice depan mata anf overlooked it so that they can sleep at night and wake up every morning without having glimpses of that particular incident. But to a minority of us who cannot overlook such things, we tend to think and think until we cracked our brain and it’s too late when you find in the middle of nothing, tears streamed down your face out of nowhere. Bahaya kalau fikir banyak-banyak, you tend to ponder and question things that you should not think or question about in the first place. So, what should we do? Don’t think at all so that mental institutions can be closed down because no people got insane from thinking too much out of such a trivial matter?

RIMMEL STORIES

It’s amazing how sometimes people seem to know more about you than you know about yourself. Ntah dari mana mereka-mereka tau itu, ini pasal kamu. Mesti kamu pun tertanya-tanya kan?

Entahlah, mungkin mereka ni punyai active imagination yg always keep working. Benda yang takde pun diada-adakan. Kalau mereka keep this imagination to themselves, aku no hal. But what becomes the problem is when they share or rather speculate this and that about you to other people.

Ada one of my commenters from my deleted blog said why give an eff about these people. Well, that’s what I think at first but really, you will be cheating yourself if you say you don’t give a damn about what people say because in the end, it matters meh..

Ok, so you try to ignore these people because they don’t matter to you. But it seems that you matter to them and that is why they keep talking about you, because you, yes my dear you matter. You should be happy about that, kan? Yeah.

DIA TU JAHAT KAU TAU

Kalau seseorang cakap “Eh, die tu kan jahat tau! Baik kau jauhkan diri dari dia,” lagilah aku nk kenal org “jahat” tersebut. Sebab aku rasa tak adil kan kau memilih kawan berdasarkan review org lain terhadap org tersebut. So, selalunya aku akan kenal dulu dgn org “jahat” tersebut dan kalau mmg betul die tu “jahat”, why not give him or her another chance?

Aku rasa nk jd cikgu nanti kena byk bg second, third, fourth, fifth, entah ke berapa chance pada anak murid. Sebab aku tau mcm maner rasanya org put a label to you and expect you to act accordingly. Sungguh tak adil. Kekadang org tu tak mcm yg kau sangka, tp sebab kau dah meletakkan label yg org tu mcm tu, so org tu pun akan mengikut label yg kau berikan.

Kalau seseorang mengatakan yg “Do you believe in second chances?” I would say yes. Life is all about taking chances, if you want to play it safe, please wear a condom. But of course, people say sex sucks with condom on although it is safe. Imagine condom is that label that you put on people. Kalau semua org kau labelkan, siapa lagi yg tnggal untuk kau?

So, bagi aku, tak kiralah kau jahat ke, baik ke, kalau aku rasa nak kenal dgn kau, aku akan berusaha kenal dgn kau. Aku takkan membenarkan condom, eh label menyebabkan aku menjadi org yg play it safe. So, sape nk kenal ngn aku????? Hehehehe….

EX-ATHEIST READ THIS!

Dulu aku ader blog tp aku dh delete memandangkan I have nothing worth reading to write. Skang aku open create blog baru. Saje je sbb aku rasa aku perlu cari blk diri aku dan x berputus asa utk cari the truth about what is missing in my life. Kita kan kena percaya pada Qada' dan Qadar. Bak kata kwn aku yg tuduh aku agnostic tu kan.

Sesungguhnya, demi Allah aku tak pernah “hated God, despised my parents” like what he said. Walaupun aku culas giler bab solat, tp doa parents aku membuatkan aku masih waras dan sedar bahawa aku ingin mati dalam Islam. Mungkin iman kurang tp hati aku tak busuk mcm die yg tuduh aku mcm2. Dia permainkan hati dan perasaan aku 3 tahun, ada aku bls dendam kt die. My father was his father’s superior in the army, pernah aku sombong and think that I am better than him? Tp manusia mcm die ni who thinks he looked smart just because he used complicated words that average laymen won’t understand made me sick.

Sudahlah. Aku bukan mcm die. Seribu tahun lagi pun aku takkan jadi mcm die.

KEJADIAAN MENAKUTKAN DI DEPAN POST OFFICE KOTA BHARU

Hari tu I pergi post office nk post motor. Bile sampai kt pintu masuk post office tu ade la satu old couple baru keluar. I was just waiting outside for someone to bring stuff to wrap my bike ( I was posting my ego to JB). And then, out of nowhere, this pak cik naik angin agaknya. Terus die buang sampah yg die gumpal dlm tgn kt muke mak cik tu (I assumed bini die la kan, dh tua xkan la gf plak). Mmg sial la jantan cmtu. Semua org kt luar post office tu tgk. Even org yg dlm kete parking kt dpn post office tu pun tgk. I was speechless. Kalau depan org die buat mcm tu kt bini die, blkg org mcm maner la kan. Xtaulah. Even if u hate ur wife, she is the mother of ur children. Consider la sket kan. And besides that, it is a public place. Malulah org tgk. Kalau nk gaduh pun take it to to ur own sweet home.

Benda2 mcm ni la yg membuatkan aku takut berumah tangga.