A VALUABLE PIECE OF PAPER

So the other day, I posted a status on my FB, informing to whomever it may concern about a post-grad programme in the area of KB.

It is under a university in the southern state, but the lecturers will come to Kb every weekend to conduct class at the only university in the area of KB.

Apparently, the university needed another 5 students to be able to open up a class here in KB. As of last week, they only had 20 students.

The post only got one comment. And that is from a course mate of mine who is now in Sabah. She seemed interested to further her studies as well and asked for the phone number of the course coordinator. Aside from her, nada nothing zip.

I don't blame others for not wanting to further their education. People have different priorities and they ranked education not in the first place like me. Or maybe they do, but there are so many challenges that come with furthering your study that some of them just forget about the idea altogether.

I heard from my junior who is teaching in an MRSM somehere in the neighbouring state that even her weekend is packed. She worked (according to her) 24 hours a day. I think she is also the warden there. So, basically, her time is full with the school which is also her second home.

Lucky me, I got a principal who understand my ambition to have a Masters degree. She tolerated my absence (with reason) for not coming to extra class for English during the weekends. I'm also lucky to be living with my parents who always encourage us (my brother and I) to study for as long as we're still breathing. My parents always tell us they have nothing to give us, materialistically, only knowledge that we have can save us and can keep a roof under our heads and food in our mouths.

I believe it is also a blessing in disguise that I am still single, so I don't have husband or children at home waiting for their mom's home-cooked meals during the weekends. Because truth be told, if I were a man and my wife has her weekend full with class and assignments and presentation as well as final assessments, leaving no space for family affairs, I'll be pretty pissed off too.

And truth be told, although sometimes my eyes popped a couple of blood vessels and migraines continously come and go like a forsaken lover, I still slap myself and say to myself, "Suck it up, bitch!" and take every assignments, presentations and test in between school work, even during the holiday, what's with PMR and SPM marking and the jitters of teaching Form 3 and Form 5 like a boss!

This is the choice that I made and I will continue with it until I get that valuable piece of paper. Although to pursue a second degree affect nothing in terms of my profession (I'm not pursuing a second degree in order to be confirmed as a 'lecturer' like UiTM 'tutors' in the same course as me) and no particular monetary gain is acquired (my salary will not be affected with a second degree), still my love for knowledge compelled me to pay RM 1800 every semester for 6 semesters in order to get that piece of paper with my name and my achievement on it.

Some people might say it is a waste of time, as with my first degree, I could directly pursue a PhD, yet I believe rather than waiting for 5 years after my contract is void (I was a government scholar so I have to work with the government for 5 years or I'll have to pay RM 180 000 to redeem my scholarship) to study full-time, I better start with small steps first instead of taking a giant leap. And with pursuing a second degree, my weekends are filled with beneficial activities (going to class, listen to boring lecture, waiting for people to have a break for one hour while you sit there with a glassy look in your eyes because you-are-so-bored-you-could-die, chit-chat and shit like that). I just could not sit still and let the times passes by (actually I can, I once watch a marathon of Steven Spielberg's movies for 6 hours straight) without doing something.

And truth be told, if I don't get my ass up and do something, I will think of all sorts of weird shits that I'm not supposed to be thinking of. And then, I'll put myself in a bad mood for thinking the shits that I'm not supposed to be thinking of in the first place. I think of all the people that have hurt me and how it would be nice to see them suffer the humiliation and sorrow that I have to go through, but that is a different story and you might not want to read about it here.

So, there you have it, why I sacrificed my weekend to get a second degree. Hey, everybody has to have something that will make them worthy. For some people, they got married. Then, have babies. That is their achievement in life. And I respect that. As for me, since nobody wants my fat ass let alone my charming personality, I resort to books and journals and thesis statements and linguistics evidence to support my essay writing. I guess what I am saying is, do whatever makes you feel worthy. But sometimes, it is sad to see my intelligent friends not wanting to share and spread that intelligence. Because I know these people have what it takes to mentally and physically answer the challenge of getting a second degree. But again, to each his or her own.