Thursday, June 14, 2018

Eid Mubarak_150618
















Saturday, June 9, 2018

32


It’s been a long time since I updated this blog. I guess life happens and I didn’t have the time to update on my mundane happenings of my life. Where do I begin?

I have been in what I thought was a close friendship for 8 years. SMS, WhatsApp every day. Phone calls every now and then. Then, suddenly this year, she distanced herself from me. OK….I confronted her and asked her whether I did anything wrong. When I went to her room, she coldly asked me what I was doing there. I would never forget that face and that tone of voice. I regretted my last ditch effort to save what I thought was a friendship. When she was sick, my parents and I even visited her in the hospital. However, when I didn’t go to school for a week due to Menorrghia, she only asked trough WhatsApp group, probably just to keep her reputation (to show other members in that group that she pretended to care). No phone call, no SMS, no WhatsApp, nothing. Is that how a friend is supposed to act? I might be stupid but I know when my presence is not needed. So I go. And I haven’t looked back still.

I have deleted all our pictures. I have deleted her number. I have not been to her room in ages. She said I should not depend on her and should not have high expectation of her. She was right. I was a pompous fool for believing that I can trust someone. Luckily, I have not told her the darkest secret that I have, or else I would never forgive myself.

I was in the deepest pit of hell. I cried every day. Felt useless. Thought about suicide again. How can someone change completely and totally disregard the memories collected for 8 years? Then, I recalled my college years. That’s how it has always been. I am just an OPTION. Not a CHOICE. So when somebody better comes along, I was ditched. As simple as that.

But God is fair. I’ve always prayed to be surrounded by true friend and find the love of my life.

And God answered. He took away that one person whom I thought was my best friend and gave me many in return. People who called me and inquired about my health even though I am not the most sociable person on planet Earth.

And I think I have found my soul mate. The one. Sometimes, it’s creepy how we can read each others’ minds. He could tell when I am not feeling myself. And when I have something on my mind. He’s amazing. We do not date that much. Which is good as absence makes the heart grows fonder. I love his eyebrows, his moustache, his hair. We finish each others’ sentences. When I am about to message him, he will be messaging me first. I know when I fall in love, I fall hard. This is my relationship after 8 years, after that shitty asshole piece of work who broke my heart into million pieces and I though nobody could glue it back together again. But then again we have only known each other for 2 months. But we feel like we have known each other for a long time. Stupid isn’t it? This thing called love. You don’t know when it will happen. And when it finally does, it hits you like a bullet train.