WHY

it's another new year and things have been the same for me.
at times, that feelings of loneliness and depression creep over me, smothering me, until i feel like i am a single white dot on a black sea.
people move on, but i am still stagnant and alone.
they say the higher power is fair but all i felt was injustice being done on my part on on the parts of people that have been mean and dubious and will continue to do so given the right chance and opportunity.
they say, don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you.
i never break someone's heart. not that i know of. and not with an intention of doing so.
i gave my all in relationships but that was just not enough for people who have no value of my love and not worthy of my sacrifice.
before this, i would probably cry and lament on my shitty life and ask the most prominent question, why?
but now, i don't even have the strength to even pour out a single tear out of my eye for such a useless question.
they say if you listen really hard, you can actually hear the power above speaking.
but all i am listening is my own whining voice.
being ungrateful of what i have and longing for what i don't possess.
i started to think that karma and all that bullshit didn't really work.
bad people, screw ups like those scumbags get nothing in return for hurting me and being mean.
whereas, people with no ill intentions whatsoever get hit again and again, for what?
for doing nothing? for hurting nobody?
when is the world going to become a fair place?
a safe haven where people who are good are rewarded accordingly and people who are bad are punished for their bad deeds?
some people just weren't meant to be born.
with their birth into this world, they just keep hurting others and messing up other people's life.
these people should be exiled. you should not add them as friends on facebook.
still, there are still an ignorant few who seem oblivious to the true colour of a person.
still wrapped around in their little bubble of freakin' happiness.
bringing another person into this already cruel and lopsided world?
that is the true meaning of happiness?
if it is, that maybe i was meant to be alone and lonely after all.
and that is a destiny that is hard to swallow but impossible to spit either.
and that is the path that i have to tread.
and that is the future that i have to look forward to.

because the force above knows that i can handle it.
i am strong enough to filter all these negativity.
i am resilient enough to tolerant fake bitches and masquerading impostors.
i am the light that shine in the darkness.
i am the energy that keeps hope alive.
i am me, and that makes all the difference between a frail little human shit like you and me.

PURR.....

I've got 3 perfumes now :)

Yup...Katy Perry's Purr this time...

Cat!! All my perfume bottles are purple...

ALEXANDRE CHRISTIE..now I look like a Mak Datin :P

And it's shimmering, ring, ring......

Can I be a hand model??? hahaha...

Obligatory pose when showing off new watch :P

if only ppl know how much it hurts to pretend not to care.

...

Technology, like SMS is not all bad. The reason is because SMS can be used to help people who are living with speech and hearing impairment to communicate with other people. I witnessed this when one of my relatives paid a visit to my house last night. He brought along his lovely wife, who are also in the same boat as him. Although the atmosphere was quiet and there was no laughter and chatters, still we (my mom, dad, them and me) were able to communicate using his phone and my phone by typing SMS as a medium of communication. A lot of people always blame SMS as they think that the short forms and the mixture of Malay Language and English used in SMS is the source of ‘Bahasa Rojak’; so much so that students tend to use the same language they type in SMS in their essays at school and in exams. Well, that is just one downside of SMS. And the technology is not to be blamed. Blame the people using the technology in excess njslegi rgiuergheriupgh gtriu

P/S: I have no idea what to write. Just the thought that “them” in the ramblings above looked so sweet together that I have to write a post about it. Or maybe that is just the hormone kicking in.

THEY THINK , BUT NOT ENOUG

They think they can boss you around to do things you don’t want to do.

They think they can shift the job they don’t want to do to you, just because they don’t feel like doing it, just because they pretend they don’t know how to do it, just because they have ‘commitments’, ‘commitments’ they deemed more important that your commitments.

They think they can put the blame on you. Since they already shift the job to you, if some cock-ups happen, well it’s not their responsibilities anymore. The guilt is on you.

They think you are easy to make fun of, just because you are silent and accept things coming your way, may it be pleasant or unpleasant things.

They think you don’t have a mind on your own, since you never speak up to the injustice done to you.

They think they can hop around in glee for being released from the burden on their shoulder, by putting the burden on your shoulder, because you, unlike other people have all the time in the world to deal with shenanigans by miscreants who are cane-proof.

They think they have won, when you just shrug it off and pretend not to be hurt by their stupid and silly comments on private parts of their body. When you never ever even think to look at them for more than what is necessary, let alone, to stare at them long enough to find things to comment about their body.

They think they can peek at your personal details and give their two cents worth of how you should manage your life.

They think, but not enough, to meddle in other people’s private and personal business, private and confidential matters as well as little secrets that wasn’t meant for the public.

They think, but not enough.

PRAYERS FOR THE LITTLE GIRL.

i would have posted the picture or video, but i just don't have the heart to do it.

FUCK these ignorant bastards.

Hope Yue Yue lives when HUMANITY dies.

DIPAKSA & SUKARELA

Negara Malaysia ni tak menggalakkan org sambung belajar ke peringkat tertinggi ke?

Kenapa penjawat awam yg nk sambung master tak diberi biasiswa?

Penjawat awam yang dipaksa sambung belajar ke peringkat degree sebab takut rugi masa pencen diberi biasiswa pulak?

Bukankah kita digalakkan menuntut ilmu sepanjang hayat?

DUNIA MEMANG TAK ADIL.

WTF??!

i still hope we get back together.

especially when i'm alone at night with nothing to think of but you.

sure, i'm getting ordinary everyday.

but that't because everybody expect normality in their lives.

nobody expect less.

not even you.

but, believe it or not,

she will turn ordinary too.

Someday.

Armando, Armando...when are you going to come..

kenapa orang yang selalu curang dan tak setia diberikan peluang berkali2 untuk menikmati alam perkahwinan atau pun percintaan dgn orang yang setia dan ikhlas dalam bercinta?

kenapa orang yang selalu berharap untuk menemui cinta sejati tak pulak diberikan peluang untuk bahagia dalam alam percintaan mahupun alam perkahwinan?

kata2 klise "Awak akan jumpa orang yang lebih baik dari saya" memang dah basi. Dua bekas aku sebelum ni mengeluarkan ayat yang sama dalam usaha untuk menutup kesalahan masing2 dan mungkin ayat tu akan dapat bantu mereka tidur di malam hari (tanpa mengenang kembali kecurangan dan pelbagai tipu muslihat yang dilakukan dulu, dan mungkin masih dilakukan lagi).

kenapa lelaki2 yang menipu isteri mereka semata2 nak menagih madu kekasih yang jauh lebih muda dari mereka tak dilaknat dan dimatikan sahaja nafsu mereka?

bagaimana pula dengan isteri2 muda yang mendapat suami kaya tetapi mengadu mereka kesunyian dan dambakan belaian lelaki2 gagah perkasa?

kalau aku yang diberikan pasangan yang setia, bonus kalau mereka itu kaya raya macam datuk2 yang isterinya melanggan gigolo kerana kesunyian, mungkin aku takkan meminta2 lagi untuk diberikan lebih.

tetapi itulah lumrah manusia. tak pernah puas dengan apa yang ada.

mungkin Tuhan tak memberikan aku kehidupan yang semua wanita inginkan kerana Dia tahu aku mungkin diperlukan untuk tujuan lain yang lebih besar.

cuma aku sahaja yang selalu mengeluh dan 'buta' dengan petunjuk2 yang diberikanNya.

apa yang kita mahu tak semestinya kita miliki, dan apa yang kita miliki tak semestinya yang kita mahu.

Wallahuallam.

P/S:Aku nampak bekas rakan sekelas aku masa di Tingkatan 1 SEMENZA dekat pejabat pos Tesco tadi. Dia beli setem sambil pegang dekat 20 kad bersampul warna putih. Ditemani seorang lelaki.

just make up ur fucking mind..1833 or 2133?
6013 or 6014??
GOD!!!

OUT OF ADD/DROP DURATION!

I FUCKING HATE TECHNICALITIES. PERIOD.

INGLISH

They should have used all those dictionaries they are selling before putting up this stupid-ass sign...

FETISH FOR LEATHER

Yeah, bite me...but i'm a sucker for wedges...the taller, the better.....p/s:i like my man the same way...

wedges+studded+leather=fetish!

Everbest...

i'm lonely. that's a fact u can suck on.

kok ye pun nk menyamar jd ak, tukar la sex tu dulu.
ak bukannya male,duhhh

I wish i could tell u that i'm happy.
but i'm not.
because you broke ur promise.
of being there forever.
i guess it is true.
ur talk is really empty.

dumbshits...

Slope FAIL!

Parking FAIL!

PINK CATALOGUE

Hye, take a look at the catalogue.

This one is new, and that one too.

What about the pink one?

You can get a discount for items on page 45 if you buy that.

Maybe get three of those together.

You can even get a free umbrella with that.

Don’t you just love the mid-year mega sale?

FEDORA

Guys in fedora hats. My favourite.
So yummy and delicious.
Got me thinking.
Why the hat?
Receding hairline?
Chronic dandruff?
No money to buy hair styling gel?
Either reason, I heart them.
Maybe I could get one for myself.
The hat, and the guy.

18 SX

She stared at the empty windows...

Watching a couple of birds taking a short break on her window sill. Her own personal life is in ruin. The birds have better chances than her to be healthy emotionally and physically as a result of healthy relationship and physical contact. She showed her teeth to those birds ala Edward Cullen when he turns to a vampire. The birds flew away, after watching this giant human bird with big fangs for teeth. She sighed, she is even picking fights with animals now. What’s to become of her?

She should be easy riding by now. She got a job. She got a whale like shopping desire. She got a car. She even got a place to stay although it is just a place to sleep and bathe. To the naked eye, she has it all. But only she knows, her heart is dry and her soul is wandering, not belonging to her anymore.

She sighed loudly now. Wanting to know where life will take her and why she had to endure this feeling of not knowing where to go and what to do. Oh, that’s an oxymoron, “not knowing what to do” when she got tonnes of work to do. But she has no desire to touch all those work. She has no desire for everything else. She has o desire to entertain herself.

For a couple of minutes, she hovers around. Back and forth in her claustrophobic room. Whether that room is claustrophobic or she is or both are claustrophobic, no-one could tell. She feels empty. Everyone is isolated from her. Even the air she breathes feels foreign to her. An alien would be more at home than she is right now.

She hates uncertainty. Having to wait on other people’s terms is just so daunting a task for her. Why we gotta to hurt each other and make each other’s life harder to boost our self ego? And of course everybody think their time is precious, everybody should play by their rules. My business is more important that yours. So, I have to be given special privileges. Yak, yak, yak on and on they go amplifying their so called predicaments.

She is sick and tired listening to those complains and gossips. Everybody just knows how to speak but nobody really acts. We hide behind the pretence that we care while in reality she doesn’t really care. Who gives a shit about how you really feel? Nobody cares. And its time everybody realizes that.

She gets really sick at time. Wondering why she, had to be denied the rights every woman should have? Maybe it is because her flabby arms or unsightly thighs...or maybe it is because her oily, pimply skin...or maybe it is because her boring personality and lack of passion for everything.

Is her life destined for companionship with dildo and vibrators and nipple clamps? She wonders...

YOU GOT BOYFRIEND, I GOT TRACCE...

I've worn higher, but this is Mega High...

Nothing spells 'powerful' and 'confidence' than a bit of added height :P

i'm single.
i can't tell you how irritating it is to see you and your PDAs.

but i guess, u can turn back at me and say, "What is it to you?"
"Don't hate us because you ain't us!"

yeah, i wish i'm not
because i would puke green slime if i turn out to be like you.

P/S: you know i lied, because inside you are snickering like Ghost Face in Scream 1, 2, 3, and 4.

i am always left out

but that does not make me die

good to know i do not matter

so you can have the silver platter all by yourself

you are beautiful

you are sexy

you are always right

but bear one thing in mind

you come into this world like me

and you check out the same way

so what is so great about you?

SPF 50 for Boo...

Shiny, shiny car...

The number is blurred for anti-stalker protection...

The honorary driver and navigator...

Yours truly...