Monday, January 3, 2011

040111 2.15 CODE RED

I feel so listless nowadays. I am not happy with what I do, and I am not content with what I have.

I know I should be doing something else. Something to continue what I have started. But these ropes and tapes are refusing me the chance to be free. Turning away their heads as I walk into a room. Walking away as I start to know them better than before.

I feel sick. And tired. And wanting to give it all up just for a chance of utter bliss without any care for the world. And its inhabitants. And wanting to give up on myself and all my failings.

24 and 7 come and go. But I stay stagnant without no feelings to spare. Wish I had more than this ignorance and isolation, mere excuses to diffuse the fact of my inability to function in a supposedly ‘normal’ situation.

Get me my bed and blanket.

Get me my favourite movie and 550 ml eplas.

Someone, get me out of here.

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