Wednesday, May 25, 2011

18 SX

She stared at the empty windows...

Watching a couple of birds taking a short break on her window sill. Her own personal life is in ruin. The birds have better chances than her to be healthy emotionally and physically as a result of healthy relationship and physical contact. She showed her teeth to those birds ala Edward Cullen when he turns to a vampire. The birds flew away, after watching this giant human bird with big fangs for teeth. She sighed, she is even picking fights with animals now. What’s to become of her?

She should be easy riding by now. She got a job. She got a whale like shopping desire. She got a car. She even got a place to stay although it is just a place to sleep and bathe. To the naked eye, she has it all. But only she knows, her heart is dry and her soul is wandering, not belonging to her anymore.

She sighed loudly now. Wanting to know where life will take her and why she had to endure this feeling of not knowing where to go and what to do. Oh, that’s an oxymoron, “not knowing what to do” when she got tonnes of work to do. But she has no desire to touch all those work. She has no desire for everything else. She has o desire to entertain herself.

For a couple of minutes, she hovers around. Back and forth in her claustrophobic room. Whether that room is claustrophobic or she is or both are claustrophobic, no-one could tell. She feels empty. Everyone is isolated from her. Even the air she breathes feels foreign to her. An alien would be more at home than she is right now.

She hates uncertainty. Having to wait on other people’s terms is just so daunting a task for her. Why we gotta to hurt each other and make each other’s life harder to boost our self ego? And of course everybody think their time is precious, everybody should play by their rules. My business is more important that yours. So, I have to be given special privileges. Yak, yak, yak on and on they go amplifying their so called predicaments.

She is sick and tired listening to those complains and gossips. Everybody just knows how to speak but nobody really acts. We hide behind the pretence that we care while in reality she doesn’t really care. Who gives a shit about how you really feel? Nobody cares. And its time everybody realizes that.

She gets really sick at time. Wondering why she, had to be denied the rights every woman should have? Maybe it is because her flabby arms or unsightly thighs...or maybe it is because her oily, pimply skin...or maybe it is because her boring personality and lack of passion for everything.

Is her life destined for companionship with dildo and vibrators and nipple clamps? She wonders...

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