Saturday, December 31, 2011


it's another new year and things have been the same for me.
at times, that feelings of loneliness and depression creep over me, smothering me, until i feel like i am a single white dot on a black sea.
people move on, but i am still stagnant and alone.
they say the higher power is fair but all i felt was injustice being done on my part on on the parts of people that have been mean and dubious and will continue to do so given the right chance and opportunity.
they say, don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you.
i never break someone's heart. not that i know of. and not with an intention of doing so.
i gave my all in relationships but that was just not enough for people who have no value of my love and not worthy of my sacrifice.
before this, i would probably cry and lament on my shitty life and ask the most prominent question, why?
but now, i don't even have the strength to even pour out a single tear out of my eye for such a useless question.
they say if you listen really hard, you can actually hear the power above speaking.
but all i am listening is my own whining voice.
being ungrateful of what i have and longing for what i don't possess.
i started to think that karma and all that bullshit didn't really work.
bad people, screw ups like those scumbags get nothing in return for hurting me and being mean.
whereas, people with no ill intentions whatsoever get hit again and again, for what?
for doing nothing? for hurting nobody?
when is the world going to become a fair place?
a safe haven where people who are good are rewarded accordingly and people who are bad are punished for their bad deeds?
some people just weren't meant to be born.
with their birth into this world, they just keep hurting others and messing up other people's life.
these people should be exiled. you should not add them as friends on facebook.
still, there are still an ignorant few who seem oblivious to the true colour of a person.
still wrapped around in their little bubble of freakin' happiness.
bringing another person into this already cruel and lopsided world?
that is the true meaning of happiness?
if it is, that maybe i was meant to be alone and lonely after all.
and that is a destiny that is hard to swallow but impossible to spit either.
and that is the path that i have to tread.
and that is the future that i have to look forward to.

because the force above knows that i can handle it.
i am strong enough to filter all these negativity.
i am resilient enough to tolerant fake bitches and masquerading impostors.
i am the light that shine in the darkness.
i am the energy that keeps hope alive.
i am me, and that makes all the difference between a frail little human shit like you and me.

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