HYPOCRISY vs HONESTY

Office politics yet again in this post.

You would have this trying too hard to be perfect colleague who would constantly talk about how perfect her/his little family is. How bright his/her children are. How doting his/her spouse is. And yayayayadadadada.

And usually this little person would try his/her hardest to fit in into that exclusive little group in school. So he/she would organize a potluck event where he/she pretended to cook for everybody but at the same time, asked for money, albeit indirectly for the sumptuous meals that he/she begrudgingly prepared (yes, these people don’t understand the concept of potluck).

So, you have to choice. One, you pay the price, albeit begrudgingly because you don’t really like what’s on their menu. Two, you decided not to show up for the gathering and didn’t eat the dishes prepared and didn’t pay for it because, hey, like any logical person would think, why pay for shit that you don’t use/eat/take?

Nevertheless, both options have their consequences. One, if you voiced out your opinion about you not liking what’s on the menu, you would most probably be labelled as a sourpuss or party-pooper because you don’t have the ability to pretend for a second that you actually can stomach the dishes. Hey, people value hypocrisy than your honest opinion. Two, if you didn’t pay and didn’t eat, that particular little person would brand you as anti-social and refuse to sit next to you when they see you at the canteen.

Now, normally, me 5 years back would say, Fuck You and just walked off. But since I’m turning 27 this year and slowly try to accept the fact that we live in a community, it’s pretty much sucked a lotta ass when you are not behaving according to the norms, which you deemed are trivial and not vital to your humane existence.

Now me, I don’t really give a shit if you want to act tough with me. I survived 6 years of mental and social torment which I believe was partially my fault. We were all young and reckless and believe our lives were more important than others.

But when you’re older than my mother and acted like a little kid, sulking just because people don’t want to eat your cooking, you’re just asking to be punched in the face. Grow up! Just because your husband does not provide the positive reinforcement needed to make you feel better about yourself, don’t give others shit for your husband’s job to tell that you’re pretty and sexy everyday.

If I were living in an alternate universe where social rules do not apply, I’ll happily walk away and never turn back. Unluckily for all of us, we cannot just walk away from our jobs and people who make it hard for us to ignore them. People who are only nice to you when they need something from you and pretend not to see you when you’re of no use to them. I’ve experienced a lot of encounters with people like this and frankly, I’m getting sick and tired of being chosen last. Being befriended when there are nobody left. Do you know how repulsive that is? To be alone and left alone at any opportunities that arise? It makes my stomach lining curl up and bile coming out of my throat. That’s how sick I am to all these pretentious bullshit around me.

P/S: I heard one of my colleagues quit teaching due to stress. Pretty soon, a lot of young teachers will follow suit. If things don’t change.