Average PSY

I think now we've to change the saying 'like an average Joe' to 'average PSY' because this funny looking guy from South Korea made YouTube history when his video hit 1 billion views yesterday.

He's not handsome or weird looking like some KPop artists. Although he dress smart but overall his image is highly unlikely a reflection of his profession as an artist. He doesn't look glamorous. He doesn't look well-plastic surgeried (if there's such a term because I read somewhere South Korea is one of the booming nations which conduct plastic surgery). He looks like, well, an average Joe.

What is it with his horse-riding dance that garnered so many views and captured the attention of people from all walks of life? Why does other slim, girls or good looking boy bands or handsome solo singers of KPop could not match Psy's success?

Maybe it is because he's not afraid to look stupid and make a fool of himself and when he's performing, he looks confident and genuinely having fun. And from his interviews, he looks like he really cares about his fans, as you can see here http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=5KmG8Gnzbxc

He said his concert lasted 3 hours on average, and by 2 1/2 hours, his legs went numb. So, he hid behind an enormous DJ table and behind the table were people who used acupuncture needles to get the clotting blood out of his feet. Damn! The price he paid for entertaining people!

Some people might say the dance is stupid or Psy is just an idiot for doing that funny dance. But, seriously those people should just swallow a knife and die. And what annoys me, none of the Hollywood gossip blogs reported Psy's 1 billion views but they were quick to report an incident that happened years ago when Psy rapped insults about American soldiers who killed and raped two Korean girls. That song which he rapped about was not even his to begin with, so their argument is invalid. And later, they was an incident of a guy in UK who literally died from dancing Gangnam Style. Boy they were quick to write about negative publicity concerning Psy but when it comes to his successes, they pretend not to know about it.

Hollywood is such a bitchy place, filled with bitches running it.

As for Psy, although I've never been fond of anything Korean (my brother is the Korean fanatic, he loves Ramen, learned how to speak Korean by himself and have huge collection of Korean movies and downloads) but my ears and my eyes caught the Gangnam Style fever too. And may Psy stand tall among other international artists, and I'll be waiting for his international album in March. I just adore artists who aren't fakers and who create their own sounds. Doesn't really matter from which country he is from because music is universal as evidently put by the person clicking the Gangnam Style video for the 1 billionth time, who may or may not speak any Korean at all and only sings out loud "Hey, sexy lady!!" like the rest of us.

PERFECT Woman

It is not enough to have a first class degree, you need to know every recipes to cook and served to your husband and your in-laws.

It is not enough to be able to fend for yourself, being independent and having your own life, you have to be subservient and pretend to be interested in the daily mundane happenings of the world.

It is not enough to be be healthy and not be a burden to other people, you have to be stick thin and able to wear elastic jeans coming up to your hip bone, and barely cover your butt-crack.

All in the search of a perfect woman. Who must be beautiful, with a clear skin, without any impurities, not even a single black head on the surface of the skin. She must be thin, a guy should be able to wrap both of her hands around her waist. She must have thick licks of bouncy and shiny hair, which she casually wrap around her fingers playfully. Perky breasts and ample ass with long and smooth legs. She will giggle at every one of your jokes. Never call you when you're late for a date. Never misjudged you when you go out win another girl. Or when you have a picture with another woman in your Facebook or comment on another woman's picture. She knows your favorite songs and can recall lines from your favorite movies.

I guess I'm never getting laid. And my fuck buddy is my books. As you can see I've multiple partners. And we fuck in different positions every day.

4 8A, 7A, 6A

 The teachers were the ones with giant, flapping butterflies in their stomachs, analyzing the results, gauging their teaching effectiveness and comparing the success to other schools in the districts..

 Nur Nabilah Mohd Za'im, one of the straights As students, with her mother, receiving her flawless result from SMKK's Senior Assistant of Administration..

 Another straight As student, Robiatul Adawiyah Zaharimi, our very own school's employee's daughter...

I'm only teaching one Form Three class and since their form teacher went for a holiday in Gambang, I took over and distributed the result to every students in 3 Super. Most of them were smiling, some were surprised and others frowned looking at their result. One of the boys gave me a bro fist which I pumped with as much enthusiasm as this boy got 5 As while juggling his participation with athletic events. He missed school for almost a month training for SUKMA, yet he managed to excel in his studies while keeping his love affair under control.

 One of my colleagues, giving out the result for 3W, what a miracle since nobody failed BM in her class although before this she did not expect such excellent result for her subject.

Most of the students present early were the girls, probably excited to know how they fare in the exam. The boys contained their excitement and acted like they did not care how many As they managed to score. But I know otherwise.

So, 4 students got straight As, 7 As and 6 As.

Heard that the percentage for English, Science and Mathematics went down this year. Down like my spirit when I realized I could have done more for the kids.

BBW

Before you started wondering what BBW means, it actually refers to the biggest book sale in Malaysia, currently being held until the 23rd at Mines Convention Centre.


As usual, if I wanted to go, my parents and my brother will tag along because God forbid, my parents won't let me hop on a bus and go there on my own.

The only problem is, I got a sick foster grandma at home and have to be look after 24/7 for the last year and a half. So, our family never had a family vacation for the last 14 years, ever since my foster grandpa died and we moved over here to keep my foster grandma company because if you ever looked after old folks, you'll know that they are absolutely hard to please and no, they won't leave their house under any circumstance so you have to move and love with them.

Yeah, the biggest book sale and I'm the biggest book junkie cannot go because we got a burden that we are shouldering as a family although my foster grandma raised up her nephew who just couldn't give a damn whether his auntie cum foster mother is dead or alive.

To make up for my broken heart, luckily my senior when I was doing my first degree who is also in the same team as me for SPM marking, who has been going back and forth to KL since his wife is a resident there, offered to buy me the books that I wanted. And boy, I gave him a long list of writers with a few exceptions as I already bought some of the books of my favourite authors for overpriced paperbacks at the only 'hip' bookstore in this God forsaken place. At least, my shattered heart are UHU glued again with the 9 books my senior bought at the BBW.

And this is also why I really despise people asking me condescendingly, "Where did you go for the holiday?" Because the truth is, I never had a holiday ever since I moved here.

And that is why the people responsible for school trips are probably crossed at me for not going to even one school trip ever since I got posted to that school. I just got tired of explaining my situation to them. Unlike some people, I  like to keep some of the problems to myself because talking about it won't resolve it. Unless you want to stay and look after my foster grandma while our family go for a much-needed holiday.

People think being single they are free to order me around to go for a school trip so I can look after the school kids while they are shopping with their family who tag along for the school trip since, let's be honest, going on a school trip is much cheaper than going for a holiday on your own.

Before this I could avoid to go by giving an excuse that I have to go for class every weekend. But when I graduate, do I have to recite the same story just to make people understand my situation? I despise people who broadcast their problem to any audience that would listen. But sometimes, keeping mum only boils other people's curiosity and this cause them to make their own assumptions.

Now, I'm the type of person who never cares about what people said. But living in a professional career with colleagues now, I could not afford for that to happen. I got a reputation to uphold. Sure, I do my work but now public image is something to take care of too. There is an extent to how much you don't give a shit. I learned that when during my first year, my colleagues bitched about me to the Senior Assistant of the school just because I minded my own fuckin business and did not get involve with the buffoonery going on every day at school.

Well, all of us could not get all that we wanted but we can compensate for the things we couldn't have.

191212_TEST POWER

So, tomorrow is the announcement for PMR result. I’m sure some students could not possibly sleep tonight, eager to wait for tomorrow. And I’m also sure some just don’t give any damn interest on whether they score or could not even retain a single A. Hey, it is just PMR. If you fail, it is not the end of the world.

Your parents, however, would most probably be crushed. If you’re the type of students who constantly come to school and never miss any tuition classes, forcing your parents to make your school their second home by fetching you to and fro to your second home, they would probably cry harder than you.

On the other hand, if you could not be bothered with what your teachers are teaching in front as you were too busy discussing bigger world issues at the back of the class, then PMR is just another test that you did not study for and had no intention of passing with flying colours.

What I’m saying is, you reap what you sow. If you never came to after class session with teachers who are willing to wait for you, then you can expect not to get an A. If you were stingy to spend extra RM100 for night classes, then you can expect not to get a B. If you never attended weekend classes, then you can expect not to get a C. And if teachers gave you handouts of past year questions which you immediately crumpled and threw away, then you can expect not to pass any subject at all.

I am sure tomorrow will be a salty tears mega festival. Both kids and parents would be crying. There are two possibilities when this happen; either they cry out of joy that their hard work and perseverance are finally paid off OR they cry thinking “What the hell did you go to school for if you fail all subjects?”

Tomorrow would also be an emotional day for teachers like me who taught form three students. Whether all those hours babbling away really seeped in or it just flew away like birds after they shit on your shoulder. It is a test to see whether your teaching techniques were correct and could be repeated next year. Or you are a complete idiot and fail the whole class without trying at all.

Some teachers are having butterflies in their stomachs, thinking of the beatings (metaphorically, not literally, of course) they are going to get, should the result dropped down faster than Wednesday and  Pugsley dropped baby Pubert in the movie, The Adams Family. Your boss and your clients would sink you faster than Jack sank into the ocean in Titanic. Be sure to bring cotton wool to jam your ears from the insults and complaints when you go to school tomorrow.

However, if your students score, expect “Thank You” and a pat on the shoulder. That’s just about it.

Well, guess I will see what happen tomorrow. Do I have butterflies in my stomach? Nah...

Care Bears

There are pros and cons of being a caring teacher. Some people pretend to be caring and act like Mr/Mrs/Ms Know-It-All about their students, especially in front of their superiors and other teachers. The most probable location for this buffoonery is usually the canteen. With perfect audience with high tolerance for bullshit, these Know-It-Alls spring into action everytime a kid's name is mentioned. They knew everything about the kids; his heartbreaks, his drug use, his innermost thoughts,his family composition, you name it, they know it. When other people try to chime in, they would look at you like you're some kind of imbeciles, and although you know your facts are correct, these people would always find a way to prove you wrong.

Well, don't get me wrong. I know sometimes I couldn't be bothered with these dramas in these kids' lives; dramas that they inflicted upon themselves, sometimes. So, I pretend not to care and that's why during Restu Ilmu, where these kids bawl their eyes out, I would just stay calm and enjoy the show. You may call me a hardened bitch but I believe some of them are just putting up an act. If you're really concerned about your studies, you won't wait until the last minute to cry and ask for forgiveness from your teachers. You would not forget to do the homework given or at least appreciate the handouts given. And you would not even think of raising your voice to the very people who made you not stupid and feed you with knowledge that you so desperately need to pass the biggest exam in your goddamned lives. But as usual, the Know-It-Alls would cry along and sob and weep and hug and wipe these crocodile tears from their beloved students.

The cons of not being caring is kids hate you, they know you're not a donkey that can be rode around, therefore, no hugging or invasion of personal space are allowed. One kid learnt this the hard way, she loved to hug me for no reason at all, asked me to fetch her at home when it as raining since she couldn't come to school in such weather and twice, she asked me to send her to BSN to withdraw her scholarship (yes, underprivileged kids have all sorts of financial aids from the government, so all this crap you see on tv, exaggerated beyond belief for commercial purpose is all lies. People quit school not because they are poor, but because they are lazy) and she tried to add me on Facebook. These kids just crawl all over your personal space when you're nice to them. That's why the first time you go into the classroom, the most favorite question that they will ask you is, "Are you married?"

So, for the Know-It-Alls, they would answer with as much coyness as possible. Kids put them on an untouchable pedestal. Kids worship them. And usually they would treat these kids, and announce it to the whole world. If you want to do some charity, just do it without having to make it a public announcement. Let it be a secret between you and the kids (though knowing these kids, the very word 'secret' doesn't exist in their vocabulary.

When the Know-It-Alls have some problem with the kids whom they adore and vice versa, they would also make it a public service announcement, again the most favorite place to do the deed is the canteen. Owh, how their hearts break and why did the kids act the way they do to a teacher who really care for their well-being. And then, they turn into Detective Conan, on a mission to find out if the kids have family problems that cause them to rebel and turn into Godzilla and terrorize the classroom. Everything is a soap opera with these people. They deserve awards for their dramatic performance. 

As for me, since I'm well known for having lack of emotions and no display of public feelings to unrelated people in my personal life, kids don't hump my legs like dogs do when they are asking for attention. Even with related people to my personal life know that I don't shed tears on purpose without valid reasons. And if you ask me whether I care or care NOT about my students, there's a line that I draw when it comes to teacher and students relationship. I care academically and to a certain extent, personal issues since I'm the form teacher, which means that sometimes, I've to go to my students' houses if they don't come to school for a long time. And that's about it. If you want me to hold the students' hands and cry with them, sorry I can't do that. I had a bad time myself when I was studying, nobody held my hands then. I sucked it up and kept standing up even when I was down and kicked while I was still lying down. Even then, I kept fighting and through my stubbornness, I succeed. So, if you kids complain about being tired, having to come to school everyday, come rain or shine, to attend extra classes, imma boop your head, you ungrateful little shits. The teachers sacrifice their time and energy staying back way after school hours to teach your sorry little asses and you complain about being tired? Look who's talking. Yes, people, kids complain about attending extra classes that cost them nothing, my school even provide lunch for these kids. And parents complain too, saying that night classes aren't necessary to ensure their children's success in the exam. They aren't willing to pay RM100 for night classes for all subjects, which in the city, you've to pay RM100 just one subject and sometimes, just for one session. Yeah, and when their kids don't score in the exam, teachers will get all the blame. If your kids are lazy and don't want to come to school, are we teachers supposed to go to your house and bath your kids and chauffeur them to school? For the Know-It-Alls, they might have no problem in doing that. But for me, there is a line that should not be crossed. There is a limit that the students and the parents should observe. We are teachers, yes. We are supposed to care, yes. But we are not your children's caretakers and when we give you our phone numbers, that doesn't mean you can SMS or call us anytime you want. Teachers have social lives, you see. And we don't look after your kids 24/7. As for students, a night before the exam is not a good time to ask your teacher for the question that will come out for the exam tommorow. You could've paid attention to my teaching in the classroom. Or you could've written down the tips that I gave in class. 

So, there you go. Care is a delicate word. When you say you don't care, it usually means you do care a little bit but not so much to narrate it to others. Teaching is a profession, true, but when you're dealing with humans, the profession becomes a life-long commitment. So, if you're SPM leavers looking for an easy way out to further your studies by choosing teaching as a career, my advice is think about it. Think about it a thousand times if you're not that keen to care. If you just think about the money, trust me, it is so not worth it with all the problems that you have to bear. If you are looking for an easy job with a lot of holiday, teaching is not it. Even during holidays, you are required to work 2/3 of your holidays. Unless you want to be scorned by your principal, you can choose to fake illness or going abroad during the year end holiday to avoid coming to school for meetings of Golden Holiday. By the way, I hate the very idea of Golden Holiday. Like attending one day of tuition during the holiday will miraculously make these kids smarter. Let kids enjoy their holiday, and the teachers can enjoy theirs in peace too. But of course, nobody cares about the teachers' state of mind. No wonder more teachers are depressed and it is the top profession with most teachers being admitted to mental hospitals. Such is the price for caring.

OF TELEMARKETERS & ANNOYING PHONE CALLS

So I think it was somehwere in July or August when I got the phone call from Maybank Kota Bharu officer, En Sh******  A*** (if I put his real name here, his job could be in jeopardy and yes, I do still have a heart) offering me an Islamic Credit Card. Though I adamantly refused and stated my obvious choice to be credit cardless for as long as I live (with the advice of my father and through my own logical thinking, you could never get out of debt if you own one), he kept pushing and finally I hang up the phone thinking he should get another lesson in basic Bahasa Melayu so that next time, he would understand when to stop when people has said no a million times.

Soon after this particular call, I received  abundance from calls from insurance companies, Sunway Lagoon, Palace of the Golden Horses and etc and the first thing that they asked me was, “Are you a Mastercard/Visa credit card holder?”

Pissed off and irritated with the calls and the telemarketers who sprinted away like bullet trains without giving me any chance to explain that 1) NO, I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD and 2)HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?

The telemarketers usually gasped in horror for question number 1, some of them did not believe me and questioned me why I did not have a credit card, to which I was tempted to answer “Ikut suka hati aku la” but still with the last remaining civility in me, I managed to answer politely with just a little hint of annoyance.

For question number 2, they usually would dilly-dally and try to stall me as long as they can and never answering my question directly.

So, these telemarketers called at the most inappropriate of times, they even called during school hours while I was teaching in class. One lady called in the afternoon, which was lunch hour for other office related jobs, and when I said I’m working, she replied rather sheepishly saying, “Oh lunch hour pun kerja jugak ek?” I almost lost my cool and called her a stuck-up bitch but still I bit my lips and just said yes, some people have to work during lunch hour as they don’t have a designated period of time to take their lunch or even for toilet breaks.

Tired of them and their aggressive persuasion, I went to Maybank Kota Bharu to confront the officer whose name I did not mention as you can see earlier in this post, but was greeted by half-assed attitude and a lame response saying, “Hok calls tu kito tokleh tulung la mugo buke kito hok bui no telefon cik” and inside I was saying, “Kepala hotak lu” (Yeah, I do swear a lot, only at appropriate times, judge me or hate me but that is the way I am, P/S: read that in Eminem’s tone). Since he said there was nothing that he could do, I should have just gone to the manager instead, right? But I still have some compassion left in me because I do that, he would surely get ‘something’ for the stunt he pulled on me.

So I called Maybank Customer Care Line (care la sangat) and complained. The kid answering my call was helpful and took my predicament into account.

I thought the matter was resolved but later, I got a letter from Maybank asking me to pick up my credit card in the Grik branch. My first reaction was, “WTF?”

However, since in the letter, it stated that if I did not pick up my card within two months, it’ll be automatically destroyed. So, I just disregard the letter as I believed I have made the correct decisions by going to Maybank KB and calling the Customer Care Line.

Then, at the end of November, I received a call from an officer in Maybank Grik asking me to pick up my credit card. Again, my reaction was “WTF?” but I told the lady that I never applied nor approved this credit card application and when I asked her how the hell did they pull it off, creating a credit card without the customer’s consent, she said she did not have an answer for that question and I should call the Care Line or talk to the officer in Kota Bharu, which I did but it seemed both parties had some sort of brain damage and could not process the fact that I did not request for the credit card to be processed.

At that time, I was busy with SPM Marking meeting and my mind was fully occupied with the scripts and this lady kept asking me to pick up my credit card or else, it’ll be destroyed and my response to that was “Eat Me”. Again, this was all in my mind and I tried to reply with much grace as possible.

A few days later, another telemarketer called from Multi-Purpose Insurance and that was the last straw, so I made a formal complaint to three related Maybank services. First, at their official Facebook page ( there was a Maybank KB Facebook too but since they could not understand simple instruction, I don’t think they would be able to handle this lady’s scorn towards their poor service), second, at their Maybank Card Facebook and another to its Customers Relation officer through e-mail.

My friend suggested that I should go to Maybank KL but why would I waste my money and energy going through a 6-hour journey just to fix a shitstorm that wasn’t even my fault to begin with. My other friends told me that I should complain to Bank Negara Malaysia since this is a violation of my personal information and could be considered as credit card fraud. But still, being as courteous as ever, I just merely post a complain on Facebook and sent them an e-mail.

I lodged the complains on Friday last week, and they responded saying it would be investigated and a Maybank officer would be calling me to resolve the problem. So I waited until Wednesday but still, no one calls me. So I send an email and IM on Facebook, saying that if I did not receive any response from them within 24 hours, I would lodge a police report and make a formal and written complaint to Bank Negara Malaysia. And on the very next day, a customer relation officer called me and said the credit card is closed and no, RM 50 tax for every credit card issued has not been deducted from my bank account.

Today, I received another call from Maybank KL officer, this time from the credit card department asking me whether I could recall all those numbers that have been calling me. Of course, I did not save the numbers as to me, they were annoying as hell and good riddance if they never call me again.

And after the threat has been made, my email was also replied and I asked for a written statement saying that I did not, ever, apply for any sort of credit card as a proof to clear up my name. Although the matter has been resolved orally, but still written proof could be used later if any misunderstandings still occur in the future. As of now, I’m still waiting for the reply to my request.

As for you out there, I am sure that some of you have received weird phone calls or text messages, trying to dupe you into believing that you are one of the luckiest people who have won a sum of money and blah, blah, blah. Or they are just persuading you to try a package to stay at their hotels. Or they are selling insurance of life policy that can give your family benefits and long-term medical protection. Whatever they are selling, don’t believe these people as they are just trying to take advantage by preying on people who would be careless to fall into their traps. Here is a link http://www.zuraidin.com/2012/01/annoying-phone-call.html for a list of annoying phone calls that you should be aware of.

As for me, not until I get a written statement would my mind be in peace. And to think that I have to deal with this during marking papers is a pain in the ass. And to think of the face of that Maybank KB officer and his nonchalant attitude to this fucked-up situation started by him is also another pain in the ass. Please, even if you are trying to make a living, don’t make it a hell to live in to other people just to get your products sold. If people are looking for insurance, they would find you if you are respectable enough to leave them alone when they say they are busy and in a meeting. Respect other people’s privacy and be courteous enough to stop babbling away when people are just not interested to listen to you. And value people’s personal information and don’t distribute customers’ numbers just for the sake of getting a few bucks.