Monday, December 13, 2010


I have an unhealthy obsession with things and people.

Let’s start with people.

By people I don’t mean the people that I meet on a daily basis.

That would just creep the shit out of people. Hell, I might be sued for stalking people or someone might get a temporary order of protection against me.

What I’m talking about the unhealthy obsession with people that I know I couldn’t have in my real life.

Celebrities and people like that.

Because it is so much easier to run for the stars and wishing you have it all when in reality you could just stare at the grass under your feet.

When I was a teenager, I think my first unhealthy obsession is with this celebrity called David Boreanaz. He played this brooding, mysterious vampire in a tv series which was even more popular than those Twilight shit that you people have been ogling at. Google up Angel, that is the name of the used to be famous tv show on TV 2. That is the only reason I stayed up at night even on a school day because I wanted to watch this freaky looking creature who turned into a vampire when he is fighting some baddies. And get this, you can’t kill him by staking his heart because he is immortal. How cool is that shit? Other vampires died when they are out in the sunlight or someone stakes their heart, but he doesn’t. The tv shows lasted a couple of seasons ( I even got the DVD’S) before Angle made out with his also girlfriend vampire named Darla and got this half vampire, half human son called Connor. After that, the tv show just turned crappy. So, I ditched this obsession.

Yeah, that is Angel on the left...and on the right Boreanaz as Bones.

Soon, when I was into this nu-metal scene ( a rock band with a DJ and turntables with electronic feel in their songs), I had another obsession with bands of nu-metal at that time, mainly two bands who were famous back then, Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. I totally heart Mike Shinoda and Joseph Hahn, the rapper and DJ from Linkin Park. I purposely bought their original cassette (at that time, Sony Walkman which played cassettes was still a relevant gadget. I like Mike, because he had that exotic look, which you can probably guessed since he’s third generation of Japanese-American. Not to mention he is intelligent and creative (he graduated from some art school and co-designed merchandise and album covers with Joe Hahn). I also like Joe Hahn, because he looks cool when he is making love to that turntables. Yeah, I heart boys who rapped and turntabled, there is something about them that is just irresistible that makes you wanna ruffle their hair and pick their brains out.

Joe Hahn in those glasses, Mike Shinoda is showing his perfect veneers...

And of course when you talk about Limp Bizkit, of course I was into Fred Durst, the vocalist, just because he can scream and rap at the same time in the songs. I liked his anchor-like goatee and when I watched Limp Bizkit in Woodstock 99 (my dad got that original VCD for that concert in KL), I just love the way he jumped up and down, looking like he really enjoyed what he was doing at that time.

Yupp, I used to heart boys with red cap and baggy sweater...

When I was obsessed with these celebrities, I usually googled them on the Web. Track their life history, whether they are married or divorced or in a relationship or single. I saved their pictures. I watched their concert/video clips/movies/award show appearances/interviews, anything I could get my hands on. Oh yeah, I was one sick obsessed girl.

It’s just this imagination in my head is so much better than the reality I had to go through. Why risked breaking your heart and hope for something when you can make up your own endings in the fantasies you created yourself?

And I was given a chance to meet all of these celebrities, I don’t think that I would want to meet them. Maybe they are such assholes in real lives that my fantasies would never be the same again after meeting them.

See, it is so much better to hope on someone who is not real because you can control how they react towards you. Just like Sims.

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