#3 Soul

Lying here
Don't know what to do
Feeling so worthless
Feeling so overlooked
Stuck here a thousand times
Eyes shut
Mouth unable to speak a word
Body restless
Heart faithless
A soul without peace
Is a soul alone
A soul without love
Is a soul with painful memories
Just let it go
Runaway far and fast
And never look back.

P/S: Imagine never being apart from your parents for 17 years then suddenly having to live on your own for 6 years, away form home? That's how I felt. But there's no way out as education is more important. Back in form one after UPSR, got an offer to study at a MRSM, a boarding school which was like an hour away from my home but I only stayed there for 3 days before bawling my eyes out and troubling my parents and my principal to allow me back to SMKZ (1), my original secondary school, which was an all-girls school. So you could imagine my awkwardness seeing the XY creatures for the first time when I registered in IPG. Yes, I was all types of wrong. Luckily, after SPM, I lost 30 kg of weight so I was not FAT and AWKWARD then. My thinnest point ever was at 55 kg. And then after 2 years of being thin, I started to ballon up again. Such a wasted effort. This is me a.k.a the ballooned up version.