Wednesday, August 11, 2010


There is a whole animal kingdom at my workplace.

When I was relishing the fact of human nature in the safe haven, a creepy crawly emerged from nowhere.

Luckily, I am not the one who screams. Or else, people would be probably wondering whether I am having a baby in there.

They say there are perks if you are working in a secluded area.

Less stress, less workload, less pushing around.

If everyone is as vulgar as your neighbour next door, the world would be a better place where people really say what they mean, speak out what is wrong to their eyes, and making the job of interpretation less subtle to the recipient of the conversation.

When everybody is so hush hush, and afraid to say a word for fear being labeled as the odd one, that is when misunderstanding occurred. You say something and assume the other person understand every word, every inflection in your conversation, every meaning intended or unintended. While in fact, they don’t understand your words, let alone your meaning. And when the other person don’t understand or don’t act the way you thought you asked them to do so, you became frustrated and you lashed out by critically remarking every move made by the other person. While the other person continued to live in utter ignorance of what you felt, you continue feeling distressed and wondered why the other person could not be bothered with following what you thought you have said to them.

Hence, saying what you mean and meaning what you say is very important. Don’t say something while in fact you are stating another fact in your argument. Don’t say something that try to imply something else in the hope that the other person would hopefully get what you mean. Some people are more thick-headed than others; they don’t get those sarcastic remarks or that mocking comments that you hurled their way. They don’t understand you are trying to tell them what they should or should not do if you didn’t say the do’s and don’ts straightforward to them. If you think your sardonic tone and constant hammering of insults can miraculously change them, dream on because these people are truly the manifestation of the saying ‘ignorance is bliss’.

The virtue of being straight forward is hardly existent in our Malaysian way of life. We are so discreet in our daily dealings that we would never think of commenting people straight on the spot. We usually would talk about that people to somebody else, so by the time the deed is done, the whole neighbourhood knows about that person’s weaknesses, except the person being talked about, of course. He/she would truly be oblivious to the fact that other people have been talking about him/her for quite some time. Nobody would truly be brave enough to say up front and face to face to that person about his/her weaknesses but think that it is okay to talk about it with a whole load of other people. This is visibly apparent in the Malay culture, which really holds to the notion of ‘menjaga hati’ or to save your relationship with that person as not everybody can accept critical comments about themselves. No wonder the Malays never change because for the past hundred years into civilization, we are still afraid to say the truth albeit the fact staring hard at us, taunting us to say it out loud while we clutched dearly to our notion of ‘mejaga hati’.

What can we do to change the way Malaysians, more specifically Malays think? Like my friend and I used to say, it is easier to move mountains than to change people’s perception or the way they think. They way we think has been ingrained inside us since the earliest of our existence, inherited from our ancestors and accumulated over the years. We wants our children to think like us, to follow our heritage, taking in the good and indirectly the bad as well, so much so that we think our culture is perfect and not changes need to be done to the way we think or the way we deal with everyday people. That is where we are wrong. Humans are the fastest evolving species in the animal kingdom; in fact we are still evolving with the advent of technological procedures in terms of medical and pharmaceutical practices. Today, we have people looking like a giant feline (take note high cheek bone, and stretched skin, not to mention collagen filled lips, it remains a wonder why they didn’t include the whiskers as well) and they think being a giant cat looks seductive and that would make them look beautiful in the eyes of the people. We live day to day, to impress people we cannot stand and do things we hate, and we continue living in denial for fear of social rejection and alienation if we intended to do things our way and try to break free from the mould every once in a while. We continue doing pointless things and pursuing pointless revenues for the vision that by doing so would make us lead a secured life in the future. We always think about the future, what it would be like living 20 years from now, so much so that we forget carpe diem a.k.a seize the day and live each day as it comes. We are so drawn to what could have been instead of what can be done now, in the moment and not some odd 20 years later. It remains such a mystery why we are so intrigued with a secured life by working our asses off for fear we might rot our way when we are old and wrinkly and need adult diapers. We forget to live in the moment, to do stupid things and crazy shits for fear there would be no future for us. In other words, we are afraid to have a good time as too much laugh would bring about tears, or so our grandmother says.

By having a good time I don’t mean wasting your life away every night (but I bear no ill judgements to people who do, its your life, do what you want with it) but to think that everyday is a waste if not enjoyed to the fullest. I am lucky in my line of work, weekends are off and I could do whatever I want on those short 2 days, unlike my counterparts who have to work day in, day out just so they would not get sacked for not being creative and innovative enough all the time. We are working so much for every materialistic possession we could get our hands on, that we forget those things don’t guarantee us happiness. But in this world, where everything goes well with money, those things are the substitute for that elusive part of life called happiness that all of us are desperately searching for. Falling in love gives headache, especially with all the perverts and weirdos out there who are just waiting for a victim as gullible as newly working girl who is wide-eyes to sample the world. Buying a car is so much easier. The only commitment you must give is to your repayment, if you don’t the bank would blacklist you, seizing your opportunity for more material things that could compensate for that curvy line on your face. It is not a wonder that more and more young, urban and professionals choose not to marry as the complication that come along with marriage(divorce, high cost of maintaining children and medical expenses, education expenses, not to mention the probability of getting snooty kids are also in the question) far outweighs the perks of being single and free and having to answer to no-one, except your employer, your parents and those distant relatives of yours who would, no doubt ask that million dollar question, “kenapa tak nak kahwin, memilih sangat ke?” in that condescending tone that you only know too well. But alas, that question would only be asked during raya when you would meet them or only when you occasionally meet them. Thus, proving that being single and buying whatever the fuck your mind desires can be achieved if you are living on your own and does not have to support your good for nothing husband.

In the old days, women expect to marry as early as they can. And they depend on their husbands to provide for them. Men were the savior for women during those times when men can be counted on and they actually ‘worked’ for a living. Nowadays, there are so many spoilt boys nurtured by over-bearing mothers who thinks that their son is the king of the world and deserves Miss America as a wife. The wife for their baby son must be perfect, inside and out, not considering the fact whether their son is a good for nothing, two-timing cheating bastard. But who cares about that, what we want is a domesticated and subservient wife who would be a baby bank and cook and wash and sweep until the end of time, without salary and no benefits, not even dental. While the husband runs along and find better, younger looking wife, the old wife gets stuck at a disadvantage, tending after husband who would think their ego would fall off as well as their dick if they say ‘thank you’ to their wife and also unappreciative children, who hates their mother and think that smoking and having sex without a condom is cool.

Which brings us to another issue, of unwanted babies pictured in the newspapers day in and day out. It’s time for some sex education, please! Stop talking about it and implement it already. What’s the worst that could happen? These kids know how to put a dick in a vagina, I am sure that they can handle sex education. This boils back to the fact that we are so tight lipped to talk about such an important part of growing up that we prefer our teenagers experimenting and making as many unwanted babies and littered those poor little souls around. What ever happened to humanity? A cat would leave her kitten, a mother duck would wait for her little ducklings, but a human mother is capable of giving birth and leaving her baby just like that? I’m not pro-life or pro-abortion, but I was hoping these teenagers still have fear and compassion in them. But apparently, I am so wrong.

They say just get that kid to marry off and all of our lives would be better. To me, marriage is not the solution. In fact it would bring even more trouble. When these kids got married, they would have more children. With no education and skills to survive, how are they going to fend for themselves? Thus, the poverty level would increase. Malaysian would go backward instead of forward. Is that what we want for our country? We strive to be a developed nation by 2020. Well, the only thing that we are developed in would be making babies and poorer citizens in terms of economics and education. It takes more to make a marriage works, and the fear of these kids having more babies out of wedlock is not a sound reason. If to have legal sex is the only reason for you to get married, then the sanctity of a marriage institution is lost altogether. “Nak elak maksiat”, that is the most common reason for someone with nothing to prepared for the married world to get married despite the fact that he/she/they are not capable of building a marriage, i.e no job, no knowledge, no clue of what marriage is. Even me, who already have a job, considered stable in life with an almost secured future are not thinking of marriage, where I have to submit to a man to make my way to heaven. There are aspects of myself that I need to improve, I can’t even take care of myself, let alone another human being and another little human beings that might come along with it. There is no fun in marriage. The fun may last about a month and then there is another new world that you have to worry about. How to make a good family and how to make good kids and give them what they need and everything. All in all, I am just not ready for that big of a responsibility and I don’t want ruin other people’s lives in case I fail.

So, boys and girls, this rambling which started as a spider crawling out when I was taking a dump took a detour where we have talked about the working world, communication skills, the Malay culture, plastic surgery, the price of happiness, cultural expectation on each genders, sex out of wedlock and of course the grandeur of the married world. Well, multi issues in a single post, that what I call an economized writing!

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